Conversations at the Crossroads.

Out of Your League? There’s No Such Thing.

This week a client used the phrase “out of my league” to describe someone she would be meeting about a job opportunity. She had been doing some prep work – reading up on her contact’s professional background – and started feeling nervous about whether she would be able to demonstrate her value to someone so accomplished.

“He’s out of my league,” she said.

It’s a phrase we’ve probably all used at some point in our lives, perhaps most often in the context of personal relationships. But what is really meant by it, in any context? More importantly, what is the effect on our mindset and motivation when we think this way?

Out of my league.

Not in my class (social, physical, etc.).

Better than me. That’s really what it comes down to, after all. When we imagine someone is out of our league, it’s a reflection of our own sense of self-worth. It’s a flashing neon sign in the mind that reads: You’re not good enough.

It’s a baseball reference that speaks to our deepest fears and insecurities, when we believe that “playing with the big boys” in the “major league” is unattainable. We haven’t earned our place there.

It’s a mindset that gets us stuck before we start.

My client was experiencing a real loss of momentum. Although most would view her career story as one with its own undeniable successes, she couldn’t see it for herself. So we undertook the difficult but rewarding work of reacquainting her with her proudest moments, significant accomplishments, and the set of characteristics and talents that make her unique.

I say “difficult work” because many of us don’t take the time to remember and reaffirm – for ourselves – all the ways in which we truly matter. If we could see ourselves for who we really are, for all that we’ve done, for all that we are capable of doing, we would realize there are no leagues and no super-humans. We’re simply human, all of us, and we’re all playing the same game.

So get out there and play, okay?

With support and encouragement for your journey,

Marnie
Founder, The Crossroads Coach

Published February 26, 2016