Conversations at the Crossroads.

What Will You Make of It?

As another year barrels speedily toward its end, I am curious:

How will you tell the story of your 2015?

Will you start with what went well, then mention where you came up short?

Will you launch with your list of failures but land eventually “on the bright side”?

In our tendency to offer a balanced perspective, it seems the choice we make is to either start with the good stuff or end with it. With either approach, there’s generally some amount of regret and disappointment sandwiched in.

Why do we do this? What inclines us to share “the balanced perspective” rather than shine the light on our successes and leave out the rest?

Sometimes we do it for others. We worry that sounding too positive will come across as gloating, like we’re “rubbing it in,” when others don’t seem as fortunate. We want to demonstrate empathy (“See? I’ve had challenges, too!”). We have to ask ourselves, though – what does this really accomplish? We can support those we love in another way, encouraging or inspiring them without diminishing our own successes.

Sometimes we get too focused on the notion of “lessons learned.” We think it’s essential to hold onto the stories of our mistakes, so that we don’t repeat them. However, it is possible to absorb the lessons and then let go of the stories, which may be weighted with regret. You will see how doing this lightens your load.

At this year’s closure, try telling your story of 2015 without expressing any disappointment. Could you do it? What would it sound like – to speak only of the positive? What might that change for those who are hearing it, and what does it feel like for you?

I would love to hear all about it. (It’s a struggle for me, too!)

With support for your journey and best wishes for the year ahead,

Marnie
Founder, The Crossroads Coach

Published December 17, 2015